• baby+hospital
    Neonatal Journey

    Part 8 – Hospital Stay Over

    After spending so much time in the neonatal unit, I felt that I knew some of the staff like they were members of my family. Every single individual had so much passion for what they did. I learnt that quite a few started in their roles after experiencing the same thing I was. Some had spent weeks in the neonatal unit as a parent. Some had supported friends or family going through their neonatal journey. Some had lost a child. Though I knew that Bruce was in such safe hands, it didn’t stop me missing him. Every minute spent away from the hospital carried some pain and the guilt that…

  • Neonatal Journey

    Part 7 – Hospital Tests and Getting Dressed

    On 28th September 2012, after nearly 7 weeks in an incubator, Bruce was moved to a hospital cot. When your a parent of a NICU baby, this is definitely one of the biggest milestones. My first thought….”we’re almost home.” I knew we still had a way to go but in my eyes, this definitely took us over the half way mark. He looked so peaceful. More than that, I felt closer to him than ever. There was no incubator surrounding him, no plastic wall between us. He was right there, and I could pick him up without asking a nurse for help. That may seem like a strange thing to…

  • baby+incubator
    Neonatal Journey

    Part 6 – The Merging Weeks in Neonatal

    On 21st August 2012, I was discharged from hospital. Still heavily medicated, with daily hospital check ups needed, but I was getting there. This should have been a happy time, I was in my own home, away from noisy wards and the 6 hourly blood tests (3am was one of my regular slots). That wasn’t the case though. Going home meant that I was no longer in the same building as my little boy. The distance felt painful. The first few days were a blur. To get through, I set myself the same routine everyday, mainly to try and stop myself from feeling lost. Things were still difficult though. I…

  • Neonatal Journey

    Part 5 – Week 1 in Neonatal

    Wow! I haven’t written in so long. When I started this blog, my aim was to share with the world the journey that me and my tiny toed boy went through in the Neonatal unit. What I never expected was how close it would bring me to those emotions that I experienced 6 years ago. On 21st August 2012, my little boy had been in the Neonatal Unit for a total of 8 days. Over that first week I’d learnt how bright purple lights in an incubator actually treat jaundice, that a CPAP machine supports to expand those tiny little air sacs in our lungs and that most babies (no…

  • baby, small, premature
    Neonatal Journey

    Part 4 – My First Touch

    At 9.12pm on Monday 13th August 2012, I became a mum. There’s no feeling quite like it. All I wanted to do was hold my boy; to comfort him and tell him how much I loved him. I couldn’t. I lay awake all night thinking about him. After surgery I’d been taken straight to the High Dependency Unit, whilst Bruce was taken to the Neonatal Unit. He was placed on a ventilator within minutes of being born and now lay in a special incubator. Each hour that I lay awake felt like a whole day. I couldn’t sleep, and didn’t sleep, all night. I couldn’t shake the thought of my…

  • Neonatal Journey

    Part 3 – The Birth

    The hospital room was huge! It even had its own private bathroom. The nurse behind me closed the door and the midwife passed me a hospital robe. As I looked at it puzzled, she asked me if I could change into it. I did. I felt like they had the wrong patient. I didn’t need to be here. What was going on? I asked if I could ring Amy. Amy’s my best friend and has been since we were 13 years old. She was and still is, like a sister to me. I’d been exchanging messages with her since I’d arrived at the hospital and needed someone to help me…

  • Doctor, appointment, Medical
    Neonatal Journey

    Part 2 – The Day Everything Changed

    I arrived at the Royal Bolton Hospital around 11am. I’d driven myself there, as all round, I felt pretty much ok. Something was niggling at the back of my mind though. So after parking up, I took a video of where my car was. In my mind, this was just in case I needed to stay overnight and my John (my husband), needed to take my car home. I made my way straight to the maternity unit for my ‘further tests’. I sat in a small waiting room with 4 other ladies. First, was the pee test. Now normally this would be a breeze for any lady at the end…